Ms Anita Arora : A Perennial Blessing

My parents decided to send me to a boarding school at the every early age of my life, the age where I didn’t know how to clean my muddy pieces of poop. 

The reason was very simple, they had realized my phenomenal potential in failing in each and every exam even in Kindergartens.

In my boarding school, fortuitously, I was blessed with exceptional teachers who saw the hidden potential in me. The year when I was enrolled there, I didn’t even know the plain basics of English. My Mathematical skills were so shaky and fragile that I could collapse easily anytime while looking at any maths equation and whenever I was asked to communicate in English, I felt like a living corpse because I couldn’t say or speak anything but then I was blessed with a matchless and an exceptional English Teacher Ms Anita Arora.

Ms Arora shared the same surname as mine, was no doubt an extremely ruthless, merciless and even bloodthirsty teacher in the class whenever it came to English. She was a grammar Nazi. Since the very beginning, she never gave me any chance to defend myself against my weak English skills and arguing with her was calling for a self-invited “reprimand”.

She taught me English (as English teacher) till the last day of my stay in the school. In all those years, she always motivated us to learn English but at the same time she maintained a good balance by  never giving me good marks even when I answered things correctly.

The cost of defending own self was dealt with heavy castigation from her.

I always learnt new things from her. She was a remarkable teacher but I could never understand her unusual behavior for me since the very beginning.

In our 3rd Pre boards in 10th class (Yes, we did have many versions of pre boards) I scored exceptionally well.  My confidence grew since those days and I stood as the 2nd topper of my class in English for 12th Boards scoring 90 plus marks in that subject. 

Last year, I was fortunate enough to visit our school for an alumni meet where she said 

" You are a real gem for all of us " 

I want to tell her that I was just a piece of coal who was polished so hard by teachers like her in that school and because of her only, I could manage to write/speak/understand this much of English. 

That was the day when I realized why she never gave me good marks....! 

I hope you get to read this ma'am.

Sincerely 

Your Student Forever

Aashish

 P. S - This is the copy of my answer sheet where she has given me the highest marks in English ever in my school history. I have never returned this to her. :)

An Ugly Conversation

Prologue: An old lady died few years back. We all gathered for her funeral ceremony.

An year before her death, the old lady’s granddaughter (Let’s call her Kathrine) had tied the knot with the man of her dreams. 

Kathrine was informed about the natural demise of her grandmother on the same morning.

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Kathrine was supposed to attend the funeral due to moral as well as family's obligation. In that sweaty afternoon, everyone was waiting for Kathrine’s arrival.

Everything was put on stand-by mode. The funeral ceremony was lingered only for her, to have the last glimpse of her grandmother.

By putting extraordinary efforts in waiting and showcasing high amount of patience in the delay of her arrival, everyone started anticipating the reasons for her absentia.

Eventually,  Kathrine’s mother broke out from somewhere and announced
“ Kathrine will not be joining the funeral ceremony due to her pregnancy”.

Meanwhile, in that crowded hurdle of people, two boys joined the conversation too. One of those two, unaware of her mother’s presence and her announcement, spat the murderous words which left everyone speechless.

Boy 1 : “WTF, she should have had informed earlier if she wasn’t coming” !

Boy 2 : ” What happen?”

Boy 1 : “ She isn’t coming because she is pregnant”

Boy 2 : “ Oh kay ! ”

Boy 1 : “ Wait a minute, I have been listening about her pregnancy for more than an year now but she hasn’t delivered till yet ”.

Boy 2 : “ What ? is she delivering a baby or a Kangaroo?”

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Polygot Background Voices Echoed :

Kuteya sharam Kaarle ( Bloody Dog, Have some shame at least)

Lodh gaya moya ( Bloody Idiot)

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P. S -

Boy 1 was my friend

Boy 2 was the writer of this answer.

Predicaments of an Arranged Marriage

* It is remarkably phenomenal that how we have started considering Marriage and Wedding as synonymous to each other.

1.        Artificial Micro-Dating System: Parents/Relatives/Marriage negotiators, etc invest their extra ordinary event management skills for arranging a first artificial date for the boy and the girl. More than a date, It is the most important viva where high performance has to be delivered with extreme and acute caution and prudence. You get only 15 to 20 minutes to decide whether the other person is worthy enough to live with or not.

2.        The Parliament/ Wise Disposition : Who will go with the boy/girl except for parents on the first meeting becomes a sensitive matter mostly, not because of any logical reasons but your precedence of importance in the family is determined through this. If you are taken, you are important and if you aren’t taken, you are not important. I have experienced many such incidents in my family where a person stopped talking to the other one as he/she wasn’t invited to the first meeting.

3.        Advance Procession: Sometimes people in the first meeting are so much in number that you feel like you are attending some advance parade or procession. Recently, once of uncles took 1 and a half dozen people (18) to see a perspective groom for his daughter. I became enraged when I came to know about this insane act. I telephoned him up next day and ended up saying “ Baarat lekar gae thein ya ladka dekhne? (Did you go to meet the groom or to marry him instantly with marriage procession?)

4.        Legitimacy: Most of the time your opinion is buried in the grave. Bhua,(Paternal Aunt) Chacha, (Paternal Uncle) Mami, (Maternal Aunt) or some far sighted relative becomes the supreme judge for you. The most senior or experienced (as per family standards) is administered with the charge of doing a cost-benefit analysis. He/she has to come up with such an arrangement/decision that intra-family ties and people are not agitated specially the Fufas,(Husband of Paternal Aunt) who are famous for their notorious behavior during any marriage. (North Indian Punjabi Context)